Day 4 & 5: Check In

Good thing the challenge wasn't to blog every day, would have messed that one up! I was too tired after the movie last night to try and write something intelligent so I didn't even attempt. Although this experience has only been a few days long I am already starting to feel a lot less anxious about stuff. It may sound weird but knowing what every one else in the world is doing and what you are NOT doing adds a slight blow to your self-esteem, which I think subconsciously happens. I'm sure at times I was aware of it and at other times hyper aware of it. It almost becomes some sort of popularity contest in my head and I do not like that at all. Don't get me wrong, there are so many great things that facebook has to offer, but for me personally I let it drag me down on the inside. The obsessive checking to know about everyone was almost a way of being able to know the gossip without talking to anyone and be in the know about everything that really doesn't matter. It's really crazy how a website has that kind of power over your mind, emotion, and thought life- it's scary. In some sick way I feel brainwashed, but it was my choice to let it have a hold over me.

And back to the topic... I thought I'd explore the "check in" option that is now available to those who have a mobile device connected to the internet (or people who would get around that like me and use their ipod at wifi spots). When they first offered this way of telling the world where you are I thought "really? are you asking people to find you and make stalking that much easier?" but then my opinion changed a bit. It was sort of fun to tell people where I was and who I was with, but again it leads back to the self-esteem and popularity contest thing. 

What was the motive? 

I wanted people to know that I do have friends that go places with me! Really? I did not need that kind of validation nor did it truly make me feel uplifted. And on the other hand it did cause some jealousy to surface when I would see that certain people were doing things that I thought were things we would do together, it became hurtful. And yet, I'd still read and see what they've been doing that I was so sadly missing out on. Ridiculous!

I'm 25 years old and acting like a teenager with this thing, I can only imagine what the 13-18 year olds must feel by knowing all this information, and it comes as no surprise that some even commit suicide over things they learn. It gets in your mind and festers into a thought and feeling that produces negative ideas and in the end can destroy (if you were to let it). Yikes! 

I don't want to bash on the site, it just seems to me that the intention I believe, was to let people know where you are so they can meet up with you I didn't see it parse out that way. I haven't heard of much of that going on. Maybe I'm wrong and there are people everywhere 'checking in' and having friends come join them because of it, but if I seriously  wanted a friend to meet me somewhere I would call or text them!