After the realization that keeping up with a blog isn't my thing I have made it to the end of my 40 days without facebook. I have yet to reactivate my account and I'm somewhat hesitant to do so. Having stepped away from the whole thing for 40 days I realized just what I thought I would- I don't really need it. Aside from a few things here and there I haven't missed it all that much, and I certainly haven't missed the mountain of emotions that I allowed it to bring to me by seeing the lives of others broadcast on the daily.
Some people haven't even noticed that I was gone, or they assume I unfriended them so I'm sure my absence hasn't caused too much of a hole in the world, or any at all. I'm on the fence now about whether or not to get back to it. I was thinking about adding limitations such as only allowing myself to check it one time a day. However, if I remember correctly I also had alerts sent to my phone and I then had to go and check out what someone had commented, etc. That feature can easily be remedied though and turned off. I would also like to consider keeping the app off my ipod too- that caused even more of a temptation to check up on things. I really learned a lot from this experience and I would highly encourage others to try it, perhaps for a shorter amount of time if they can't stand the thought of 40 days- but it does tend to help you see things in a new light.
My use of Twitter has gone up, I'll admit- but somehow I don't feel like that's as big of a deal. I don't have too many people that I keep up with and my real friends don't post much, it's the musicians, businesses, and other celebs that are constantly using it.
I may decide to see what happens and have promised myself that I will not get wrapped up in it again or allow it to stir up feelings that don't need to be there. It may have to become a fast I do every couple of months or something. I'm not going to lie I will be excited to share photos of Italy and be able to see what people have been up to while I was gone, but for what reason? I am positive the answer is probably somewhere along the lines of wanting to show off or so I can keep up on all the 'gossip' around town. That's what the thing can be- a giant, worldwide gossip mill. Yikes!
Social networking is neither good nor bad- it's all about how you use it and your attitude. As with anything, too much can be harmful, but in moderation it can be a great tool!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Day 18-26: Fail
Clearly blogging is not my forte nor my calling, but a valiant attempt none the less. I guess it goes to show you that the longer that you go without something, the easier it is to go without. This is very true of my experience thus far without Facebook. I have been telling people I may not go back, but most likely it will be with a lesser presence. I have gotten annoyed that I'm not able to get free samples from lots of companies unless I "like" them... which requires me to log on. I know it sounds silly, but I love me some samples! I have been enjoying missing the drama of online social media, although with a good friend recently going in for surgery I found myself wishing I had it just in case any updates had been posted since my attempts at phone/email contact haven't gone far. Perhaps I wouldn't find anything on Facebook either and can always ask another friend to check for me. It's been a great experience though. I love finding that the stuff we think we need is so unnecessary and we are wrong. It's been good. I'm going to keep going!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Day 15-17: Relationship Status
Wow, I'm terrible at keeping up with this. More so than I thought!
I had lunch with a great friend of mine and was discussing my Facebook fast, and she mentioned that she almost never checks Facebook (which I knew because she took a long while to respond to any of my posts) and I inquired as to why. It wasn't a matter of taking the time, she basically gave me the answer that I had given someone else. It really causes you to compare yourself to others who are at a different station in life, one that we both hope for and have yet to get to. It's not just about relationship status, but seeing wedding and baby photos or even things about travel. We are genuinely happy for those people, but it plants a small seed of jealousy because we would love to have those experiences as well. I know that being in a relationship, married, and/or having kids is not a fairy tale and is more work than some let on, BUT it is something that we desire. So, seeing it what feels like ALL the time in our face, and what feels like EVERYONE has creates an unnecessary feeling. I don't like that part at all and frankly one of the things I miss the least. I'd much rather hear about such things in one-on-one settings with that person or hanging out in a small group of friends.
I won't lie, before this fast I would have been the first person to change my relationships status and link myself with that person had I entered into a new relationship. Now, I would much rather keep it private and hold that to myself and keep it between me and that other person and of course share with those closest to me. Really! It's insane how fast people change their status from engaged to married, I'm almost surprised it's not included in the vows these days. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, congratulations, you may now change your relationship status on Facebook!"
You may sense a bit of jealousy or bitterness and are thinking "She's only saying this stuff because she's single and lonely." NO! I truly believe that we put too much value on keeping what I think should be more private, a public matter. As I have stated in previous posts, the fact that I specifically have had to tell friends to call me when they get engaged before they post it on Facebook is so crazy to me. Again, I realize it's an easy way to get the message to the masses, but aren't we close enough friends that you can tell me personally? I should hope so!
It's a different world and things change rapidly from single to married and it's complicated... but we can't forget to keep it real and that people aren't always online to catch what's happening in life!
I had lunch with a great friend of mine and was discussing my Facebook fast, and she mentioned that she almost never checks Facebook (which I knew because she took a long while to respond to any of my posts) and I inquired as to why. It wasn't a matter of taking the time, she basically gave me the answer that I had given someone else. It really causes you to compare yourself to others who are at a different station in life, one that we both hope for and have yet to get to. It's not just about relationship status, but seeing wedding and baby photos or even things about travel. We are genuinely happy for those people, but it plants a small seed of jealousy because we would love to have those experiences as well. I know that being in a relationship, married, and/or having kids is not a fairy tale and is more work than some let on, BUT it is something that we desire. So, seeing it what feels like ALL the time in our face, and what feels like EVERYONE has creates an unnecessary feeling. I don't like that part at all and frankly one of the things I miss the least. I'd much rather hear about such things in one-on-one settings with that person or hanging out in a small group of friends.
I won't lie, before this fast I would have been the first person to change my relationships status and link myself with that person had I entered into a new relationship. Now, I would much rather keep it private and hold that to myself and keep it between me and that other person and of course share with those closest to me. Really! It's insane how fast people change their status from engaged to married, I'm almost surprised it's not included in the vows these days. "I now pronounce you husband and wife, congratulations, you may now change your relationship status on Facebook!"
You may sense a bit of jealousy or bitterness and are thinking "She's only saying this stuff because she's single and lonely." NO! I truly believe that we put too much value on keeping what I think should be more private, a public matter. As I have stated in previous posts, the fact that I specifically have had to tell friends to call me when they get engaged before they post it on Facebook is so crazy to me. Again, I realize it's an easy way to get the message to the masses, but aren't we close enough friends that you can tell me personally? I should hope so!
It's a different world and things change rapidly from single to married and it's complicated... but we can't forget to keep it real and that people aren't always online to catch what's happening in life!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Day 11-14: Events
I have been too busy to blog or miss Facebook, so both are a good thing. Sorry I haven't had much in the way of profound thought. I believe I am getting somewhat worn by the busyness of my life. I had intended to be better at this, but alas I haven't done so hot. Ha ha.
Anyhow... I got a text Friday from someone who noticed that I am no longer able to be found on Facebook (one of a few people who have yet to ask) which is interesting in and of itself. So, since she couldn't invite me to her event on Facebook she resulted to texting me. Being able to create 'events' on the site has made getting people together for any kind of an event so EASY. Who needs birthday invitations, baby shower invites, or any kind of party invitations? Facebook eliminates that and allows you to see who else is going, who is thinking about it, and who is totally out. These options aren't available on paper and have made things a lot easier, but again so much less personal. I can't remember the last invitation I got in the mail. Probably a wedding invitation over a year ago. Things have so much changed. I personally like getting mail, but I know it saves time and money to do things online. I have had several 'events' since I've had Facebook and it almost eliminated the responsibility of the individual to give a response. People are so much less inclined to use any kind of etiquette as far as giving an RSVP which drives me CRAZY. I don't care if you don't plan on attending, just tell me and soon. Either way I think this feature has enhanced and changed the way that people get together and have a conversation about it. A good thing all in all.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Day 8: Birthdays
I am not feeling inspired to blog this evening, but for my captive audience I will not disappoint! Ha ha. I do think I've let Twitter become my new little social media connection which has helped me cope without my lack of Facebooking. So sad, but I'm being honest.
Saturday was a good friend's birthday. Now normally I would have depended on Facebook to alert me of such occasions and I admittedly have not memorized everyones special day, but without my alert system I almost forgot to say anything. How sad is that? I will tell you that in preparation for this fast I wrote down all the Birthdays that would happen within the 40 day time span so I didn't miss anyone. Even after having done that I still almost forgot to say something to her! However, in my defense I did send a birthday card.
I wonder what happens to those people who don't post their birthday publicly on the site or don't have a Facebook wall at all for people to write on? They must be so sad or they know who truly cares to share in their day. I personally love birthday cards or cards of any sort and I have noticed how they've diminished over time. Maybe I have less friends, or maybe it's simply easier for people to write on your wall, shoot you a text, or an email. I'm not positive which option is true. The cost of cards has gone up, so it could be that. I hope we haven't lost the art of a handwritten notes in all this electronic scuffle of our generation. I think some people love having a mass amount of messages on their wall one day a year, I personally am appreciative, but the notification part of it is a little crazy, but it's once a year so I can overlook it. Birthdays mean a lot to mean for reasons that many don't know, but to others it's just another day and I get that. I prefer to take the approach that I want to treat others the way that I would like to be treated, which means I better stock up at Hallmark on some great greetings! This exercise has taught me how much I depended on Facebook to keep track of something that I should probably be keeping track of on my own calendar. It has also challenged me to be proactive and send a card rather than just a small electronic note.
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! I'm writing on your wall... with your other 'friends' too!"
Saturday was a good friend's birthday. Now normally I would have depended on Facebook to alert me of such occasions and I admittedly have not memorized everyones special day, but without my alert system I almost forgot to say anything. How sad is that? I will tell you that in preparation for this fast I wrote down all the Birthdays that would happen within the 40 day time span so I didn't miss anyone. Even after having done that I still almost forgot to say something to her! However, in my defense I did send a birthday card.
I wonder what happens to those people who don't post their birthday publicly on the site or don't have a Facebook wall at all for people to write on? They must be so sad or they know who truly cares to share in their day. I personally love birthday cards or cards of any sort and I have noticed how they've diminished over time. Maybe I have less friends, or maybe it's simply easier for people to write on your wall, shoot you a text, or an email. I'm not positive which option is true. The cost of cards has gone up, so it could be that. I hope we haven't lost the art of a handwritten notes in all this electronic scuffle of our generation. I think some people love having a mass amount of messages on their wall one day a year, I personally am appreciative, but the notification part of it is a little crazy, but it's once a year so I can overlook it. Birthdays mean a lot to mean for reasons that many don't know, but to others it's just another day and I get that. I prefer to take the approach that I want to treat others the way that I would like to be treated, which means I better stock up at Hallmark on some great greetings! This exercise has taught me how much I depended on Facebook to keep track of something that I should probably be keeping track of on my own calendar. It has also challenged me to be proactive and send a card rather than just a small electronic note.
"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! I'm writing on your wall... with your other 'friends' too!"
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Day 7: Friend Requests
According to my silly calendar of holidays today is "Friendship Day" so I hope everyone is being friendly! If anyone cares to know I am surviving quite well without my Facebook account or news feed... I did however have the urge last night to look someone up, but obviously couldn't and therefore was stopped in my tracks. I was sitting around chatting with some people I had met a few times, but was this time was able to get to know better. However, group settings aren't always the best place to get information on people one-on-one. This is where I might have turned to Facebook to fill in the gaps for me, the unanswered questions. Honestly, questions I probably wouldn't have asked outright or wouldn't ask until we'd spent more time together. I love knowing more about people and putting their life puzzle together in my head, some call it gossip or stalking, but really it helps me get a feel for who they are. I depend(ed) a lot on the site to help me navigate finding those answers. This time I'm left in suspense until another chance to hang out with these people arises, if it ever does!
So, on that same line of thought and it being friendship day and all, I figure it's a good day to talk about friend requests. This is such a contrast to reality if you think about it. Have you ever met someone and thought you could start a friendship with them and then outright asked "Can we be friends?" NO! I haven't done that since at least elementary school. You simply invite them to do do things and the friendship happens, right? I know in the world of cyberspace you've got to protect yourself and asking is pretty necessary or else you'd have all kinds of creepers looking at your profile, but it's almost hilarious that it's gotten to be that way.
Before the time of 'notifications' when someone accepted your friend request you'd have no way of knowing unless you went through your list of friends and noticed they had been added, which is exactly what my college roommate and I used to do. She needed to know if this guy she met at a party was now her friend and they could exchange more information about each other via Facebook. It's funny now, but I vaguely remember it being so exciting to see how quickly he accepted her. Now of course we are instantly notified and may never know or figure it out if we've been rejected by a request. In some odd way I think it would be interesting if when a friend request was denied the person got a small message back that said "I appreciate you asking, but no thank you." I think it'd be better than waiting forever to hear back, but are those truly friends anyhow or simply someone you met once and thought was pretty cool?
I have found that as I've moved on from the college way of life and am in more of a rational adult stage I see the value in getting to know someone very well before I feel it necessary to give them access to so much information about me. Ultimately it's my choice to share as much as I do via Facebook, some prefer to keep it minimal- either one works! I simply don't mind sharing more and keeping my 'friend' circle a bit smaller. I think most people should already know the things about me that are posted as basics on my profile and therefore if you are my friend on the site than none of it is news to you.
Friend me!
So, on that same line of thought and it being friendship day and all, I figure it's a good day to talk about friend requests. This is such a contrast to reality if you think about it. Have you ever met someone and thought you could start a friendship with them and then outright asked "Can we be friends?" NO! I haven't done that since at least elementary school. You simply invite them to do do things and the friendship happens, right? I know in the world of cyberspace you've got to protect yourself and asking is pretty necessary or else you'd have all kinds of creepers looking at your profile, but it's almost hilarious that it's gotten to be that way.
Before the time of 'notifications' when someone accepted your friend request you'd have no way of knowing unless you went through your list of friends and noticed they had been added, which is exactly what my college roommate and I used to do. She needed to know if this guy she met at a party was now her friend and they could exchange more information about each other via Facebook. It's funny now, but I vaguely remember it being so exciting to see how quickly he accepted her. Now of course we are instantly notified and may never know or figure it out if we've been rejected by a request. In some odd way I think it would be interesting if when a friend request was denied the person got a small message back that said "I appreciate you asking, but no thank you." I think it'd be better than waiting forever to hear back, but are those truly friends anyhow or simply someone you met once and thought was pretty cool?
I have found that as I've moved on from the college way of life and am in more of a rational adult stage I see the value in getting to know someone very well before I feel it necessary to give them access to so much information about me. Ultimately it's my choice to share as much as I do via Facebook, some prefer to keep it minimal- either one works! I simply don't mind sharing more and keeping my 'friend' circle a bit smaller. I think most people should already know the things about me that are posted as basics on my profile and therefore if you are my friend on the site than none of it is news to you.
Friend me!
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